Download The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships, by Harriet Lerner
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The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships, by Harriet Lerner
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A fresh new jacket design brings this classic self-help guide up to date for a contemporary readership. One of the forerunners to today's pop psych market along with Women Who Love Too Much, this multimillion bestseller shows us how anger affects women's relationships and explains how to turn this often destructive force into a constructive one. For many women, anger is a destructive force that perpetuates all the harmful dynamics of their most intimate relationships. This classic, inspirational book from internationally respected feminist psychologist Harriet Lerner explores the ways in which anger can lead into a destructive 'dance' within women's relationships- permanent fighting with your nearest and dearest, distancing yourself through silence or blaming others for the failure of your relationships. Practical and accessible, this book also shows women how the destructive 'dance of anger' can be turned into a constructive force- women should neither suppress their anger nor vent it through aggression, but learn focussed ways to deal with it to find the best solution for all concerned. Focussing largely on family relationships, the book shows women how to deal with many different relationship issues. The book has meaning for all women, regardless of age, background or experience. Harriet Lerner provides the reader with the insights and practical skills to stop behaving in the old predictable ways and to begin to use anger to establish a more positive approach to significant relationships.
- Sales Rank: #4451294 in Books
- Published on: 1998-11-07
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.76" h x .71" w x 5.12" l, .39 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
Review
'A careful and compassionate exploration of women's anger.' SUSIE ORBACH 'An inspirational book.' RELATE NEWS 'Provides a whole new way of looking at your problems. A good investment.' Amazon reader, 2001
About the Author
Harriet Lerner is an internationally acclaimed feminist psychotherapist and best-selling author of The Dance of Anger, The Dance of Intimacy and The Dance of Deception; her books have sold over 3 million copies worldwide. She trained at the Menninger Foundation in Topeka, a world renowned psychiatric and behavioural hospital, before setting up in private practice in Topeka, Kansas. In addition to her practice and writing, she lectures and gives workshops.
From AudioFile
In a snappy abridgment of her 1985 book, the author examines the reasons anger in women is still so misunderstood, feared, and punished. She sees women's anger as a normal reaction to common interpersonal threats and conflicts that too often get resolved by being overpowered by the man's anger. By delineating the threats and supports that expressing anger activates, she offers a refreshing look at the cultural and institutional forces that condemn a woman's anger as unjust and crazy. With great wisdom and sensitivity, she sets up a logical frame for getting through the common arguments in relationships. As genuine as it is authoritative, this is one of the very best learning audios on a mental health topic. T.W. � AudioFile 2005, Portland, Maine-- Copyright � AudioFile, Portland, Maine
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Empowerment for Woman, Helpful to Men
By Steven Haack
This book is not only informative but offers practical tools to deal with anger. As a man, I find this book extremely helpful. As I read this book, I called my sister and told her that this book helps women become empowered over their lives. I also told her that men ought to read this book as well. The men who love women need this book because in order to love someone, one has to understand them.
Religions and 12 twelve step programs need to make this book available to its members. In fact, I used to be a part of Alcoholics Anonymous until I came across a sentence that disturbed me. On page 66 of the AA book, it states that “If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.” I was shocked by this statement. I wrote to them and said to members of AA that ridding oneself of anger is impossible.
Anger is a defensive emotion. We could no longer get rid of anger as we could rid ourselves of the need for water. Amazon’s review was revealing to me. “Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception.”
We could ignore anger, but all we do then is repress it and then eventually, repressed anger will get us sick physically and emotionally or we will take this anger on someone else. I urged my sister that if she ever felt pushed around physically or emotional, she needs to read this book again and again. I also told her that she could have all of her religion memorized, but if she wants to feel real empowerment, this book is a must.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
You can change the pattern of your relationship even if your partner does not read this book. Great lessons here!
By echogirl
I opted to go to counseling before getting married. I had been married before for 14 years and that marriage failed. I did not want to make the same mistake again. My now husband and I dated for 4.5 years before getting married because we wanted to spend a lot of time together to make sure we were making the right choice in order to set ourselves up for success rather than failure. My counselor asked me to read this book and I am so glad she did. The book is not the easiest or most exciting read in the world but it has tools in it that can really help people if they choose to study it. The book was especially helpful to me in teaching me how I was playing a part in the dance or circle of anger in my previous marriage and it helped me to step out of that role and discontinue that behavior. A great education for anyone, male or female, who is in a relationship with someone who often gets angry. (Luckily my current husband is not like that)
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Great learning tool.
By Amazon Customer
I started therapy because I wanted to be told that I was "right" and that my marriage was in trouble because my partner was an awful person. After all, there was nothing "those psychologist people" could tell me that I couldn't figure out for myself, if I just read the right book, right? Well ... it turns out that I was VERY wrong about a great many things, and therapy became a 2+ year learning experience for me ... painful, humbling, humiliating ... and the most rewarding gift I ever gave myself. I remain forever thankful to the wonderful therapist I had, who led me to the beginnings of understanding myself and helped me become a MUCH nicer person, better mother and someone who finally had a successful marriage. This book is one of the suggestions she gave me for reading material. It is the kind of thing that makes you gasp and wonder how the author could have zeroed in on your personality without ever having met you! Please, please, PLEASE give this a try if you are having difficulties in a relationship with a parent, spouse, ANYONE!! You just might get to know yourself a good deal better!
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